I like me.

I just love looking forward to a New Year. I tend to get excited about all holidays, but there is something even more anticipatory about a new year. The Chinese New Year isn't until February, so I took the liberty of make this week a 2011 themed week. I taught my kids about resolutions, and failed attempts at keeping them, I told stories about previous New Year's celebrations, and tried to elicit excitement for change from them. Mostly, they wanted to know if I play "truth or dare" on New Year's eve--uhh--do "goggles of truth count?" We watched Death Cab for Cutie's "The New Year" video and talked about the lyrics and what it feels like to have a disappointing year-which is usually an easy conversation to have with teens--they thrive on emo. However, Chinese teens are different. I had them journal about one thing they regret about this year and they had the HARDEST time thinking of something. After more discussion, it was apparent that these kids are taught from a young age to leave regrets behind and look ahead. The world they see is shiny, and full of hope. I wondered what it is like to hold an oyster like that.
I have been putting off making resolutions which is tough because I asked my kids to, and they wanted to know what mine are; but, I find it so uncomfortable to think about this year...what will I resolve in my life? 2010 was largely about learning to kick back and relax, learning to sweep things under the rug and leave those things there until they disintegrate or sneak out, and learning to ask less questions of people (especially if I am not sure I want the answer). I have learned to feel more satisfied with silence and un-resolve, I have learned to speak to strangers in predictable places, and I have learned how to yell at my students fluently in Chinese. My 11-11 gangstas helped me think of New Years resolutions and this is what they wrote for me:
1. Marry a Chinese man who love you beautiful adoring everyday. Love is most, he must love forever. We love you most forever.
2. Marry Zack. He love you and think you our funny (Zack is one of my students! Haha!)
3. Chinese lessons each day, so speak our chinese and fight most battle great! Beautiful fighter!
4. Drink Chinese tea it because so good for healthy.
5. Movie for us everyday!!
6. Have baby with Chinese husband. Beautiful baby! White skin and why freckly? Green eye so shiny and brown hair so crazy! We love!

Dang, they are so adorable!! We had such fun coming up with these! They make some good points...haha!
Anyway, I'm not sure I will make resolutions this year, because I'm happy and I don't feel unresolved.

Well, I have to jetsky into the city to get ready for New Year's Eve!
Happy New Year, my loves. I hope you are happy.

xox

P.S. Playlist:
The Radio Dept; Heaven's on Fire, Video Dept.
Shakira, Waka Waka!

Rejoice, rejoice, rejoice.

It is Christmas Eve Eve today and so far, so much "Home Alone" has been watched in my classes. By the end of the day, I will have watched "Home Alone" three times; roughly 5 hours of Macauley Caulkin. This nearly makes up for being away from home this Christmas! Mulled wine will make up for the rest later on tonight.

Earlier this week I had a pretty bad fever for a couple days. Since we literally can't take sick days to recover in bed, I took my sweaty, flustered self to class and complained about my illness. Chinese people are incredibly particular about their health and the causes of illness. One student told me I was sick because I am not drinking enough freezing water to regulate my body temp. Allegedly, when the seasons change, so much our ingestion of fluids-but not the way you'd think (cold weather = hot drinks). In fact, when it is freezing outside, you should use air conditioning and drink freezing water. Your inner body temp should match your outer body temp, according to ancient Chinese wisdom. The Chinese staff in our office are so bothered because we have heaters blasting all day to keep warm. It's funny. Anyway, my students are trying to help me because I have no medicine to bring down my fever and I'm all hot and cold sweats. One of them offered to write down my symptoms so I could take it to the pharmacist across the street and get something to feel better. Off I go to the pharmacist--and let me tell ya--he is no Chris Kolody--he was very annoyed by my lack of Chinese speaking skills. While he grabbed medicine for me, I perused the display cases, and what do I find? Sex toys. Yep. Anyway-he gives me medicine and writes numbers on the cases (all in Chinese of course). A Chinese teacher tells me how often to take the medicine so I start knocking it back like candy. I've heard Chinese meds are like heroin. I'm feeling better the next day and managed to sleep that night without sweating through my sheets, so I go to class all happy and rouged. I show my student the medicine I took and one box he approves. The next box causes him great distress. "Oh....Oh nooooooo..noo.nooo.nooo.nooo....." And then he starts to laugh and says something to class in Chinese, and they all laugh. Once gathers his wits, he takes out his pocket translator and types something in, then shows me, "gonad infection." "But I'm a girl!"
Luckily, my gonads are feeling great this week, so no complaints there.

Today I received a funny message in my inbox from one of my two high school friends that I still loosly keep in touch with and this is what he wrote:
So I hear that Beijing is totally over-rated and Calgary could use a little more Michelle in its life.

I don't want to mix words, so I`ll just put this out there... Bootle and I ran into each other on the weekend and we talked about you, and both decided that you are the person we are most likely to travel to Cuba with when we turn 40. So hold on to you butt, because it's gonna happen.

I hope you are having a blast in the far east, and you are staying out of any REAL trouble. If you need a white guy to come save you from pirates just let me know, I'll trade as many locks of hair as it takes to get you home safely.

Seriously though, have a great Christmas and please let me know the next time we can see eye to eye (if you catch my drift).

Warm Wishes (because it's cold here)
Warren


It just warmed my christmas-heart a little. I was thinking that it is so special to be remembered. In fact, to be remembered is like, the biggest compliment, and it really brightened my day. I find I am always surrounded by affectionate, compelling people everywhere I go, and I am the luckiest girl in the Orient!
Thanks for your love, affections, cards, letters, FB messages, and texts. I always feel undeserving of it. If you are reading this, know that you mean the world to me and the only reason I get bummed out here in Beijingaling is because I miss you--not because I am ungrateful of the opportunity.

I love you. I always will.
Plain and simple.
xox

P.S. Playlist: A lovely Christmas compilation someone very special gave me years ago, "NoelNoel." It is on repeat.

Gangstas and Christmakuh!

The madness of teaching for 15 straight weeks without long weekends/holidays is finally beginning to ensue. We are all losing it. My classroom has gone from whimsical controlled chaos to absolute mutiny. I need to show a movie or something...
Yesterday, with my gangstas in 11-11, we were reading an article on body language that I had JUST photocopied for them. It was last period and my kids were tuckered out. JW decided to take a nap with the side of his face down on the article. Suddenly I hear giggles and he says, "Ooooh my gaaaaawd!" He was holding a mini mirror up looking at a perfect ink impression from one of the pictures in the article stamped on his face. It was a picture of a morose looking man just sitting, looking glum. I lost it. It was absolutely perfect, there was not a line out of place. The man fit perfectly on JW's cheek. I laughed so hard I wheezed and cried a little. "JW-that'll teach you to sleep in my class." My gangstas are the best. They have also nailed an appropriate "late entrance" down (it's only December so I am quite pleased with their efforts); now, instead of sauntering into class late, they stop at the door and say, "Teacher, may I please come in?" I love giggling and saying no. It kills me.

Later, when marking a vocabulary quiz, I came across one that was a teacher's worst nightmare. It was a "match the word with the definition" type quiz (which already is difficult to mark, but I have learned it is the one way I can keep them from cheating!). Anyway, the smartest kid in my AP3 class left me a lovely little note after turning his "match the word" into disarray, "I'm sorry, I have noted that I should have used pencil." Heehee. They are so polite when they want to be.

Yesterday, Trish and I decorated the English Department Christmas tree with our Girls Club. It was cute-they attempted to merely toss decorations on the tree like other Chinese staff had done to other trees around campus, but we taught them how to stand back and reflect on "empty spaces" before proceeding. I think they only came for the cookies, but I didn't say so.

Countdown to Beijing Christmas: 11 days.
Christmas Movies Watched So Far: Home Alone 1, Polar Express
Cups of Eggnog Drank: 0 (sadly)
Mulled Wine Drank: 2 cups
Christmas Trees Decorated: 1
Christmas Music Downloaded: 2 albums
Christmas Tears Shed: Maybe1-2 nostalgic times
References to my Jewish Heritage: Numerous (and confusing to my students-they really don't get it when I say I'm a Jew and I'd rather be playing 'Dradle Dradle Dradle' than reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas.'
Christmas Mail Received: Thank you to Cyndi Chomick and Megan Mottle for their thoughtful letters and blank Birthday cards. I got rather wet eyed yesterday when opening up my mail at the office!!! I can't wait for more letters to come-opening mail is THE BEST!

That is all for today, kids.
Love you!
xox

P.S. Playlist: Nicki Minaj is AMPING me these days (check out 'Moment 4 Life, Blazin, I Am the Best)

Jupiter Winter

Last night I officially welcomed the Christmas season. No, it did not snow, my hopes are still riding high for that one. Bri, Maggie, Simon, Jamie, and I went ice skating at an indoor plaza and then out to my favourite haunt, The Bookworm, for mulled wine and carolling. Simon and Jamie are from the UK, and hear this: they have NEVER skated in their lives! They don't have outdoor or indoor rinks where they live, so last night was their first stab at skating. I am so proud, because they were literally terrified, and by the end of it, they were moving easily around. I have decided that once a week I will catch the bus into Beijing and go ice skating. Chad would be SO PROUD of how smoothly I am skating backwards now. Maggie used to figure skate, so I am hoping she will continue to teach me sweet moves. I actually got lost for awhile there on the ice and forgot that I am so far from home-but then a couple 6 year old asians came barrelling at me with hockey gear on and my out of body experience was jolted. Those kids can really fly when they crash!
Next we went to the Bookworm, which is now my new favourite place on earth. All the walls are completely filled with books and there is a library portion and a store portion. The books for sale are crap, but I have been meaning to try David Sedaris for awhile so I think I'll sink my teeth into him each Sunday afternoon. This place is incredibly cozy, serves wine and delicious food, and reveals a great view of the city. I could be happy on Sundays again, just sitting and sipping and reading or marking, with my feet up and my mind somewhere else entirely...The carolling was very cute! The place was packed and hot and it smelled like cinnamon and candy. The mixture of white and asian people were all snuggled together, while the pianist led everyone in a swirl of Christmas tunes. My favourite was the Irish Christmas song, when people became rowdy; it felt like a celebration after a war or something. I had one of those, "this is my home and these are my people," moments (always bittersweet).

This morning I have my feet up, I'm watching Home Alone, and downloading Christmas music. I feel melancholic, but okay.

Missin you,
Shalom,

xox

Okay: First Things First I'll Eat Your Brain

We Keep Runnin' For The Thrill Of It

Friends and Lovers,

I know it has been a long time since I updated this. Sometimes a girl needs a lil’ privacy-but enough of that. Kanye is back to spewing his life all over the internet, so I might as well follow suit.

I have been up in arms keeping my students busy these past weeks-fighting the good fight for intelligence. I started a business creation unit with them, because let’s face it, these kids know consumption best, and the work they are doing is incredible. I keep my fingers crossed everyday that they will stay focused, and so far so good. Even my most notorious slackers are on board; once we got past the “No, you can’t sell weapons, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, or little girl’s underwear” portion of the project-they flew! Here are a few of my favourite businesses: “Lucky Fox Clothing” (selling fox fur clothes), “Uncle Sushi” (Helen’s), “Clown” (selling toothbrushes), “Will-‘O’-the-Wisp” (selling ships!), “Notable Common Work” (selling videos of famous people doing…yep-common work around the house or office). Initially, these were the projects that I thought students were creating just to mess with me-but no-they are actually entranced by their business planning. On a side-note we are also studying TOM’s Shoes as a business model, and we’ve had some cool conversations about the impact of businesses like TOMS in the world—I love hearing what they have to say about what they are reading—they are so impressed by TOMS.
Then again, there are also the days when they drive me insane and I just shake my head and moan, “Oh geez China,” which they think is the funniest thing ever. For example, while teaching this week, a blast of off key instruments and fire crackers overtook my lesson from outside the school windows. I could hardly hear myself. The kids barely reacted to it, but I looked out the window, and oh-yep, a processional for a dead person was just meandering through the streets. This went on for fifteen minutes, while I struggled to figure out how to teach over the noise (never did figure it out…). Ridiculous. Then we had a conversation about how crazy it is that firecrackers are constantly going off in the streets at all hours of the day and night for some celebration or another, one student explained it as, “Well teacher, we are just happy people, we just celebrate with noises whenever our hearts are happy.” Sounds like a decent life mentality to me, might even chalk that down as a Lifestyle Goldmine, but really, who the H is happy at 5:30am every Thursday??? Not me! China! I need sleep! Especially because my brain is shrinking each time I mark a writing assignment. No really-I’m completely serious. Last week, there was so much Chinglish in their writing that I couldn’t even identify a full sentence anymore! I told this to my desk-mate, Jess, and her response was “trust me, nothing they write is a full sentence.” I was so dizzy after marking that I nearly threw up. Some assignments my kids just give ‘er and they do an awesome job and really work hard to do everything perfectly; other days, I swear they just spit on the paper and hand it in, “Uuh…thanks Dragon…”

I’ve also been a part of a political battle between the Chinese administration and the Canadian administration at the school. This whole business unit involves kids actually speaking in class, moving desks around into groups of two, and using their laptops to type assignments and design their logos (typical classroom stuff-right?) NO! Not right! Not in CHINA! In Chinese classrooms, kids sit at the same desk all day, they have twenty books piled high on their desk, they write in little notebooks with fine tipped pens, and they stand when they respond to your question. The Canadian classes look wildly different-like-they actually look like chaos by comparison. Therefore, the Chinese admin freaks out and is constantly complaining to our Canadian principal (a complete darling), about EVERYTHING we do. It’s an annoyance, but they can’t do anything to us because they don’t have any power over us-it’s just crappy because the wall grows higher and higher between us. Anyway, the business unit is blowing their minds because there are 9 grade 11 classes doing this and because we can’t all fit in the library to use their 1940’s computers, we all requested that students bring their laptops to class. We get so much more work done this way and I’m not constantly screeching, ‘No Ren-Ren, No QQ! ‘ (because there is no internet connection in the classes). The Chinese admin put out a request that laptops never be used in class because they are a ‘distraction.’ When I heard, I lost it. You can imagine. “Is this a joke???? What kind of 21st Century school doesn’t allow technology in the classroom? My students are NOT distracted, they are more focused than I have ever seen them-they actually do work in class and hand stuff in! They do revisions of their writing for the first time ever! They are learning how to TYPE in ENGLISH—because they have never been taught this before-and I am marking work with commas and periods all over the place! It’s a nightmare, but so good for them to be learning this! This school is in a time warp! If I can’t use laptops, I’m going to quit! I refuse to teach in a school that shuts down laptops in classrooms for senseless reasons. This is ludicrous!”
So yeah- I threw it out there. Was it a professional response-Uh-nope. Am I an overly zealous first year teacher with student advocacy dripping from my lips? Uh-yeah, clearly. It was okay though, my principal took me to her house and cooked me a grilled cheese sandwich and we talked politics. It was cute-like Sesame Street meets Bill Gates. There are new surprises on campus every day. I will do better at reporting them to you as they happen-ripe blogs are the best.

A Nightmare Before Christmas has also hit campus this week-I will try and post photos; though, photos do not do this place justice. I love that the school celebrates Christmas with the Canadian department, it is very considerate. Especially when you consider how far from home we all are and how comforting it is to see Christmas lights and decorated trees. HOWEVER—these decorations are outlandish and hilarious! I literally saw maintenance men dragging in browning Christmas trees the other day, and I stood and watched while they hucked Christmas tinsel and weird items onto the tree (only on one side of the tree too-I guess the backside doesn’t need to be adorned…). I don’t think they even lifted their heads from inside the decorations box, they just chose an item, reached behind them and threw it onto the tree. One of the trees was being blown over in the wind the other day as I was walking into the building with my kids and one student grabbed it and I told him he saved Christmas and he was a Christmas hero; his response was, “not really, teacher-that tree is so ugly!” Haha! The best part of Christmas on campus is the manger scene! Oh man….I have to take a photo of that. Poor Santa Clause is all tuckered out, so he is standing outside the manger (with nothing inside of it-no baby Jesus-not even a baby Mao!!), knocking on the wood, obviously trying to get in. Poor Rudolf is just chllin’ outside in the snow-looking haggard. The whole thing looks so weird-it kills me (by the way, my expression, “you’re killing me” coined from the Sandlot long ago-is making waves with my students-they lose it every time I tell a student he/she is killing me. They also love, “uh huh.” Heehee! “Zark! Take those earphones out of your ears-this is not music class-and you will not learn English with those things in your head right now-you’re killing me!” “Uh huh, teacher, uh huh!”).
Downtown Beijing brings Christmas spirit the old fashioned way-feels like home. Starbucks is spewing Christmas out the door as usual, and the stores play Christmas carols. People are always shopping as if in frenzy here, but it feels more Christmas-y somehow. For Christmas weekend, we get Christmas Eve off, so Bre, Maggie and I have booked into a fancy hotel (courtesy of our parents’ for Christmas-thanks Mum and Terry!), and we will dine, dance, and feel divine! Our itinerary includes sleeping in each day, going to the spa, buying a random gift for each other at Yashow market and exchanging on Christmas morning, eating Sunday brunch, having Christmas dinner at a nice restaurant, seeing Swan Lake, ice skating at a plaza, and hitting Candy Village (it’s a small village made entirely by candy-this is a childhood dream of mine-and it exists in Beijing!) I think it will be a great weekend and we are determined to not comment on how much we miss being home. It’s my first Christmas away from home and I am going to make it something memorable!
I do, however, hope for snowfall everyday. You know when you look at a dark grey sky at home, and the air has a bite to it, and everything is quiet; you think, it’s going to snow. Well, Beijing has those same effects, but, the grey sky is pollution, and that burning inside your chest and your black boogers are signs that you are dying faster here than you would in Canada. Really. So, though I may sound crazy to all the Canucks living in 10 ft of snow right now at -40, I still hope for snowfall everyday.
What else can I tell you…oh yes! We’ve booked our one-month holiday to Thailand! I am really excited to go back there! I will say that I am disappointed that my Nepal and Indonesia plans fell through, but I guess this means that I’ll have to come back to the Orient again one day…can’t get enough. I am going with Bre and her friend Jenks, and Maggie. We are planning to stay in Ko Tao, Ko Phan’ang (where The Beach was filmed), and Ko Phi Phi-but that could all change on a dime. We’ve made some British friends out here and they will be joining for a week as well, so we have quite the crew hitting Thailand. I just want to get out on a scooter and zip around the island, climb to the top of a waterfall, and see a cool spider. I don’t ask for much…okay-maybe a massage and a pedicure too. Okay, enough!
I think that is all I have to report, friends. I’m happier than ever out here-I have finally settled down and I’m embracing Beijing life with arms open, I’m taking risks and swooning. I’m more accepting of circumstances and grey areas…I just feel free. For the first time, I go into situations and conversations and remind myself to ‘roll with the punches,’ and I do. I drop expectations and I never feel obligated to do more than wake up and get out of bed. I feel different than before, and I wish this Michelle had been around years ago.
I’ll write again (sooner this time), and I hope everyone is safe and peaceful as they plow through Christmas season back home.

Don’t kid yourself, I miss you guys and girls terribly.
Shalom,
xox

PS PLAYLIST (on repeat):
*Walking On A Dream-Empire of the Sun
*When We Were Young- The Killers
*Power, Monster, All of the Lights- Kanyeezy and others
*Get Some-Lykke Li
*A Thread Cut With A Carving Knife-Stars
*Tell 'Em, Kids-Sleigh Bells
*Where's Your Dirty Mind- Avi Buffalo
*Sunday-Bloc Party
*Radioactive-Kings of Leon

The One Where She Survived In A KFC

It finally happened-I managed to find myself alone and completely lost in downtown Beijing in the middle of the night. It was Bre's birthday this weekend, so her Mum bought her a room at one of the fanciest hotels in the city, "Sofitel." It was absolute luxury and we all needed the soft beds and fancy shower with hot water after the week we'd had. We were looking forward to sleeping in this room so much that we even considered staying in the room all night and ordering room service. Though, as we all well know, you can't keep a good woman down, and Bre wanted to doll up and go out-so away we went to act out our mid twenty something impulses. We had a delicious dinner at The Tree, which is an eclectic restaurant that brews it's own beer and specializes in wood burned pizza , it also has a giant oak tree running through the restaurant and out onto the roof. It is one of my favourite spots in Beijing. Anyway, as these things often go, we hopped from one place to another and before we knew it, it was past four a.m. and we were still sitting at the expat pub chewing the fat with some really old but funny british guys. This is when things got dicey: Maggie apparently left for the hotel without telling anyone and Bre disappeared into the night.
and...I was alone.
and...my phone was dead.
and...I was not a responsible adult so I had neither the room key or any hotel information.
and... no one knew what I was saying when I asked for directions to the hotel. All the english speakers had packed it in, I guess.
And so I did what any survivor does and I started to wander a bit. I felt a little unnerved, I mean, I had essentially done the most irresponsibel thing by not carrying hotel info with me in a foreign country, and now I was wandering, still keeping an eye out for Bre. Sigh.
But hark! A 24 hr KFC! Naturally I stepped inside and grabbed a seat. Played with a straw for a bit and tried to look tough. Then I got sleepy, so I took a nap.
Then it was light out and it seemed I should head for a new destination.
I waited outside the Starbucks for about half and hour for it to open, and when it did, I went inside, washed my face, grabbed a cup o' jo and flipped through a Chinese fashion magazine. Thank god for Starbucks, or I would have been awry. Well, I was awry, I still had no way of getting ahold of either of my friends and no way of knowing how to get to the Sofitel until the English speakers woke up. So I started to get teary, but then out of nowehere, MARK showed up! I guess he had been staying with friends in the city the night before and wanted to get some coffee, and so he spotted me sitting lonely in the Starbucks, close to tears and obviously unkemt. So we chewed the fat for awhile and he managed to get ahold of my vagabond crew, we all met at the Starbucks and went for breakfast! Success!

The sad part is...I never got to sleep in the sweet room on the sweet bed or feel relaxed and rejuvinated at all.
Nothing is easy in China, after all.
So that is the story of how I survived homelessness for an evening. Do not do as I say, do as I do. No-that is bad advice also. Don't do anything. Ever.

Um-on a different note-there is no time zone change in China, so now the time difference is 15 hours ahead of Alberta, peopes.

Now I need to go to sleep because I am severely lacking in it and I have to face my 11-11's three times tomorrow.

xox

Helen, je taime

The grade 11's are putting on one-act plays spoken in Chinese this week. I saw my 11-11's on Sunday night and they were phenomenol! I never knew these kids could act but they can and they are so funny! Even though I didn't understand a word of it, their actions and facial expressions were so expressive and clear that I think I guessed the plots decently enough. Helen was in a play that involved three women who loved the same man, and were trying to oust his wife so that they could win his heart. She was this nerdy little woman who met him at a restaurant and the date did not go so well, even though she massaged his stinky feet. So she made him faint and then stole the beer off the table and took off. She was a hoot and everyone loved her. The next day in class, I felt her head resting on my shoulder and when I turned to see her bulbous face look sideways at me, I felt startled, but amused. "Yes Helen," I managed to inquire. "Teacher-you saw my play, I saw you seeing it, and I want to know-you do think I am so good or just so so?" I love this girl so much my heart will surely burst.
Anyway, I attached a lil photo of her in action. I hope to do some short english plays with them in the new semester, and I think she would make a perfect King of the Underworld.
I also included an action shot of my rowdy 11-11 boys-these are the ones who beat on Helen and say the most ridiculous things in class just to get a rise out of me. I wonder why they were cast as misfit soldiers in their play? Hmm....

Okay boys, gotta go.
Missin you
xox

If Lady Gaga Were A Teacher-Would She Be Like Me?

I love "Reflection Sundays." I never know what emotions Sunday will bring and waking up to a lazy Sunday is the best medicine for recovering from a whirlwind week at Teacher Camp (my newly coined name for the school I work for). I spent the morning sipping coffee, devouring the NEW and OUTSTANDING We Like We Love magazine issue, while glancing up at Sex & the City on TV. Bri and I designed a "Things That Are Red" themed lunch, and then checked our emails and various networking agencies. I confess that I creep Facebook like a hacker on Sundays in order to catch up on things I missed in the week-but this only gave my unfortunate emotional spins for reasons I refuse to divulge on Hey Lady. Clearly it was time for a bike ride to unwind. I ended up in some kind of Driver's Ed training course and that was a scary experience, moreso when it started to rain and the crazy chinese driver's ed students started to panic and hit the gas and brake at the same time while staring at me through the windows. I mean, we've all commented on "Chinese drivers" at some point in our adult lives, let's be real here. And racism aside (Hah! What a ridiculous statement!), the drivers here are MANIC on clear days. Imagine being on a bike, in the rain, ON A CHINESE DRIVER'S ED COURSE! That would be like holding a baby while he had a knife in his grip. My lazy Sunday had very quickly turned into a Speed sequel. I made it home and Bri made me hot chocolate because she is the Liz of my life out here, and noticed that I look cold and unhappy, but too prideful to explain why. I sulked up to Trish's room and she baked brownies and watched Gilmore Girls while I straightened my hair and talked about why my feelers had been hurt. We resolved that my over analyzation and perpetual need to anticipate the future is bumming my life right out (not a shocking observation-my grade four teacher told me the same thing and yet this is a life skill I can't seem to balance). I just found this to be funny timing for an emotional spin, because I have been very chill since I have been here (except one spiral in Hong Kong but who is counting, really?). Sometimes old habits die hard, but I was just commending myself the other day for being so cool and lassez-fair about things that previously would have rocked me. I guess Lazy Sundays + a busy week at Teacher Camp with too much isolation on campus and perhaps even too much kung pao chicken = Spins Michelle.
Lesson learned.

These were the favourite moments from my week:
1. The treadmill was broken this week, so instead I danced like a wedding crasher in the gym (alone) to fulfill my cardio potential (Richard Simmonds can take a seat).
2. I played with Godzilla (the small boy with exposed genitals) at the restaurant in the alley-we threw things in the air and then let them hit the ground before racing to pick them up.
3. I Skyped with Dalyce AND Chad and that truly warmed my heart because everyone needs a reminder that they are loved.
4. I organized things in order of how good the texture feels to touch (most favourite to least favourite) around my room and desk at work. So weird-what the hell?
5. I finished 'Wild Things" by David Eggers and had a shower and a good cry.
6. I drafted ideas of where to travel for my month off in January/February and came to grips with knowing it would likely be a solo trip. It's cool. I can dig it...Any takers?
7. I caught up reading the family blog that Wesley writes-he is a genius; I love his dry wit and unprecedented perceptions of life.
8. I drank many a beer on a patio in downtown Beijing on Saturday with Bri, Maggie, and Aaron; it was a cool day that reeked of Fall, and our conversation was so fulfilling and honest.
9. I gave my classes a unit test on Thursday and Friday and it was friggin hard-and none of them 'gave up.' They all finished it and only one person cheated! SUCCESS!!!! Do you know what this means??? This means I have their respect and their fear, and it only took two months. Happy sigh. Let's hope it sticks.

These are my goals for the coming week:
1. Teach my students how to arrange their desks for group work in an orderly, non confrontational manner. Seriously.
2. Introduce a new way to silence the class and get their attention. My strategies are failing me these days and I get super bored of standing in front of them with one hand raised quietly waiting for their silence. It just feels lame-like they should throw tomatoes at me for looking like such a dick. I am going to play an alarm from my Macbook that shows a timer, so they can see when they are out of 'group work' time, and when the alarm kicks in it plays "Boom Boom Pow." This could work dramatically well, or cause a rave. We will see.
3. Do a photo-shoot with 11-11 and turn it into a writing project of some kind. Taking ideas...
4. Pull off some ridiculous Halloween costume to wear to class on Friday. I might try dressing in the school uniform, with big glasses, straight hair, and I'll just giggle the whole day. If I dressed like Lady Gaga the whole day-they would lose their minds and start tearing at my costume- Ra Ra Rararaaaaa Ra Ra RaRaraaaaaa. That could be exciting.

Time to bounce,

xox

PS. Thanks for listing me as 'teacher' in WLWL--it made my stomach flipflop when I read that!

Teen Angst (Team Helen)

Helen got in two fights today. It made me so sad to see her so angry and then upset. When I turned around, I saw Bill push her and she pushed him back even harder and then he started to go after her and she ran, so I moved toward them to break it up (stupid first year teacher), and then Helen swung around kicked poor Bill in the shin really hard. So then I tried to hold Bill back but he was so angry (who wouldn't be?), and James stepped in and held Bill back. It was wild. I managed to talk Bill down before sending him for a walk-and he looked like he was going to cry. I kept Helen in the room but moved her to the front near me, and she was crying too. Last time Helen cried I could hardly keep my own tears back-it was so sad. She is such a fighter with a big head (literally and figuratively). She looks like a pokeman and I just love her the most.

Nenshi Bring Me Home...

I really don't want to make a habit of posting student work in jest-because I love these little critters. Though, sometimes it simply must be done so that the world may know how agonizing and hilarious my evenings filled with marking are.
This assignment was for my 11-11's; I gave them a beginning of a story and they had to write a climax and ending. Here is something one of my better 11-11's submitted:

--On the bus he meet a beautiful girl. He very happy and exciting. He wants to know the girl's phone number. And then he say: "Hello girl I want to make friend with you. Can you give me your phone number?"
"If you don't want to die please shut up!!"
"Why??"
"I'm a killer and SHUT UP!!!!!!!" The girl is a spy. She want to kill a leader and the leader is on the bus. She will go to a room and kill he. But he know that. He want to help that man leader guy. And then the guy tell the leader man. When that man know, he change him spot. The he go to house.
The beautiful killer is Machille angry. (WTF??? Maybe--Michelle) She tell that guy, "If you want to be dying with him, you can try." She shoting very loudly. And a woman listen it and she scream muchly. Finally, the spy go down and take the subway for dinner time. --

Well, I'm not even sure HOW to grade this (keeping in mind this is one of my better examples). I'm going to close my eyes and write 3/3 for IDEAS, 1/3 for SENTENCE FLUENCY, 2/3 ORGANIZATION and...forget about the rest of the 6 traits because IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!! I like the ending the best. A for Effort?

This is survival of the fittest.

xox

Am I Smarter Than a Ninth Grader?

One quickie: My 14 year old brother, Wesley, started a family blog in response to Hey Lady! in order to keep me updated on life at home from his perspective (already loving it!). He called me out on something extremely valid that I need to address publicly. When I write blogs, I write them like diary entries, and I don't reeeaaaallllly pay attention to spelling and grammar. He noted that I mis-spelled the word "disgust" a few times, and I do that. It's a toughie! I should edit before submitting for public viewing, especially since I teach English to non-English speaking natives, the irony is draping all over this, I know.
I am not stupid. I can spell, and I use better grammar in formal writing and in class, I SWEAR!
However, he is right, I need to try harder stay on top of my conventions, thought organization, and use of cliches. I be better! I know I shouldn't start sentences with "and, but, so, or because." I know! I know I should use less commas and really pay attention to where I put the semi-colon (oh that is an ongoing battle-as a few of you know). I know I should organize my thoughts better and stick with a main idea instead of rampaging all over the page. I know I should learn how to spell discust-but really, that word needs to have a 'c' in it! I shouldn't mix past and present tense adverbs/verbs-that is just truly lazy.

So Wes-here's to you! You better get a decent grade in humanities this year-or you will have to write a retraction!

xox

Me = Mao?

This weekend I had the chance to go snowboarding at an indoor ski hill (Quiabo) with the snowboard club I help with at the school. I didn't really know what to expect, and luckily Mark wanted to come too, so we could face the confusion together. Keeping in mind that my mantra is "nothing is easy in China," I was expecting something catastrophic to happen. However, my pessimism greatly mislead me, because I had a fantastic time and having my students there made translation extremely easy (I could have cried).I think I might invite my students everywhere I go on the weekends, and then perhaps I can adopt that pathetic "make lemonade" mantra!
When we climbed aboard the bus (which left 45 minutes late because the Chinese run on the same "who cares about time" mentality that Mexicans do), we were given a bag of Chinese snacks; including spam in a squeeze tube, a coconut bun, and white bun with cream inside. I gave my Spam to Mark, and put a little aside for my brother Wesley to eat at Christmastime. My students LOVE Spam. When I can smell it in the classroom at break-time, I want to leave China immediately.
At Quiabo, we were suited up in rental snowboard outfits, and gear, and sent out to one of the two runs. Hah. One is a bunny hill, and the other is half a 'park' with jumps and rails, and half a steep incline. The funnest part was letting go of the T-bar and not having enough time or space to straighten out before plummeting down the steep hill. Loved it. Only a few students in the snowboard club can actually snowboard or ski, so mostly I spent the day helping them get going and then Tony taught me a few 'tricks' that I think are really neat. We ate lunch with our kids and they taught us Chinese phrases and laughed when we said them wrong, and then Mark and one of our students fought ruthlessly over the bill. In China, it is polite to only have one person pay the bill, and you shouldn't be seen accepting money from anyone else who ate at the table. This tradition makes it awkward at bill time when Mark and I are sitting with our students, "so...I guess we're buying lunch today so we don't lose face, hey?" Everything is about face here. Oh-the one-liners I could use on them if only they understood the term "in yo face."

Anyway, it was an excellent day and we are already planning our weekend trip to Nanshan mountain resort in December!
Oh-and one other thing-TRISH AND I BOUGHT BICYCLES!!!!! Bikes are so cheap here, and we each got a collapsable bike for 300rmb (roughly $45). There were some BEAUTIFUL antique-looking bikes at the store for the same price, but we wouldn't have any way of getting them back to the school other than the taxi cab or risking our lives to bike our way home through unknown streets and unspoken bike road rules. The good things is that maybe this way I can bring it home in a box! Trish and I pretended to be the Goonies last night and biked through our little country area and over dirt mounds and through the slums of our area. It was fantastic!

Pictures to come!

Seriously Missing: home, my warm jacket and long lulu pants, a hot water bottle, cuddles from my friends, and free hair cuts.
Listening To: Colbie Caillat (yes-seriously), Priscilla Ahn, Stars, Moby, and Katy Perry (uh huh).
Looking Forward To: buying a winter coat and gloves this weekend, going to 798 Art District, and Hot Pot Night next weekend.
Wish I Never: had to come down hard on my 11-11's today for being disrespectful lazy teenagers (GAH!) "If you don't want to learn English-you know how to walk through that door-so just leave already. You've really disappointed me today. Be better people." Sigh. They probably only understood two words of that lecture, and me standing at the door and then slamming it when no one chose to leave (me muttering, "dang...same amount of marking...maybe next time someone will leave").
And can I just say that already in my first two months as a teacher, it takes an ENORMOUS amount of practice to:
1. Never, ever yell at them for any reason, but to find other ways to show disapproval (it's kind of like a game!)
2. Never, ever poison them--like, actually. No. I'm kidding.
3. Leave my annoyance with one class before proceeding into the next class.
4. Start every class fresh, with a smile and some chit chat; regardless how how shitty they behaved 2 hours ago.
5. Not punish everyone for one or two people's deviance.
6. Be consistently loving and and affectionate with everyone; regardless of how often they act like LUNATICS.
7. Laugh at them when they are acting like animals.
When 11-11 disrespects me, it is really hard to remember that they don't mean to, they are very loving kids who behave like wild animals and get excited when I let the leash out a bit each day. I know I have to come down on them from time to time and I really hate putting that hat on, and I hate the silence that follows. I hate that learning disabilities/ADHD are not recognized or treated here and so many of those 11-11's are fighting to focus each day and they are always the ones I put in the hall to calm down when they don't deserve to be treated like "bad kids." I hate that the kids are not used to doing art projects and 'alternative' assignments so when I give them one they go buck wild and nothing gets done. Ugh! This system is frustrating! Communism! Man! Or maybe every educative system is communist... and I am Mao. Noooooooo!

I gotta run; marking, planning, eating....all must get done tonight

xox

PhotoPhrenzie: Yangshou & Hong Kong

Good Morning Monday.

Prep periods are a farce. I mean sure, I know I have about 20 per week--which is a hellofalot compared to most teachers. It seems that all of life's annoyances occur during prep though. For example, I sit down to do some marking, intending to listen to music and relax a bit while I mindlessly hand out grades, but then I notice that my desk has stains, dust bunnies, and food bits all over it. Naturally I have to clean it right away. Then my earphone cords get tangled and I have to untangle those. Then I remember that I have to photocopy something for my next class, so I attempt that simple task-but the copier gets jammed or runs out of toner. Finally I sit back down to staple the rubrics to the assignments I am trying to mark, and my stapler gets mega jammed and I have to hurl it across the room and then hide under my desk so no one knows it was me. Before I know it, I am frustrated and no longer feel like marking so I think, "I'll do it tonight over dinner" but then I feel guilty because all I ever do is go home at 5pm and do more work until 9pm because being here is like being on a commune and the lines of free-time and work-time are so easy to blur and justify. In my frustration I have a disgusting habit of immediately clicking on my email or facebook and trying to escape into other people's narcissism for awhile-but then the bell rings and I have accomplished absolutely nothing other than untangling my earphones, cleaning my desk and logging into websites I truly hate. As I put my coat on and move to my next class, I can't help but think-"this is the career I have chosen," and my inner spinster cackles a horrifying laugh.

Tell 'Em

These things I have noticed: it is easier to feel homesick when you are travelling abroad while living abroad. Living abroad is manageable--but travelling while living abroad is something else altogether. Every new city you enter offers much confusion, exhaustion, and agitation. But once you finally settle your backpack down, change your shirt and head out into the streets-it is like stepping into Narnia for the first time. When we entered Hong Kong, all I could think was how light I would pack for my Nepal trip in February. Oh the vows and promises to God I was making while I trudged the sodden streets of HK. Oddly, our budget hostel was fancy compared to Yangshou-and both cost about 90rmb (a little under $15)--and this came as a relief once we finally stepped into Chungking Mansion. Initially, we staved off swarms of Indian people trying to persuade us to eat at their establishment that night--but after settling in, we realized we needed some Indian grub (aka-we needed colon blow so badly--flying just bungs the ol' bowels right up). The next day we were ready to say hello to Hong Kong-however, our wallets were not, so we attempted a budget approach-which just does not exist in Hong Kong. If there is one thing I know about budget travelling it's that when in trouble, find digestive cookies and make due until dawn.

To be honest, Hong Kong was so reminiscent of Vancouver that it immediately grabbed my guts and churned them into tight homesick knots. I cried while touching a giant Buddha. I wasn't even sure what to ask of him.."Buddha--I have no money to enjoy this city. I want my Mum and my friends. I miss my students. No really, Buddha-I do. Especially Helen. I miss that head. Oh-and B--can you make me poop? I feel so uncomfortable..." He didn't give me what I wanted, but maybe I rubbed his belly the wrong way... Anyway, we made the best of Hong Kong-my favourite spot was this quiet beachside town on the island called Stanley, and it had the best market and view of the ocean. I even found a cheap creme brulee tart to eat while sitting next to the water. It was poignant. I managed to listen to copious amounts of The XX, Sleigh Bells, the Killers, Kevin Drew, Foals, and the new Hanson album (a bit of a let down) while munching my way through Hong Kong. I rocked hard.

These things I have noticed: I much prefer vacations in small places with laid back attitudes. Hong Kong wound me right up! I think I even asked my friends to stop bullying me at one point-haha! We all laugh about it now... And the amount of EXPATS in Hong Kong was unreal! I want to be an EXPAT! I want to have EXPAT children who grow up in Hong Kong and eat EXPAT food!

Even though today is Sunday, apparently we had to make up a day somewhere, so we taught today, and like I imagined, seeing my students was wonderful. 11-11 had lots of stories they wanted to tell in Chinese-and eventually I stopped yelling "IN ENGLISH!" at them and starting praying that the bell would go and I could eat lunch soon. Helen got a haircut by the way. She looks the same. Lots of boys got haircuts actually-so naturally I whistled and catcalled them. I showed my classes some photos from my trip and they were pretty keen on telling me which of my male coworkers I should date or marry. I should have known better. One student told me I looked like a boy in one of my photos and one student pointed out which of my friends are fat. These kids have no soul. Well actually-they do, but the Chinese are very liberal with their descriptions of people, and they just call it like it is. You should hear how many of them describe their parents as "big and fat but lovely faced." God help 'em when they get to North America. I did the same activity in every class (where they partner up and their partner tells the class what they did over the holiday) and it bombed in each class. I love it when that happens; by the last class, I should know better and change things up, but curiosity always kills me. One kid was missing from 11-4 and when I asked where he was, my class informed me that he got married. They were giggling, so I hope that means they are liars. I guess we'll see in a couple days. Maybe he'll have a haircut too.

Oh it is good to be home, and just in time to eat Dumplings for Thanksgiving with my bizarre and brilliant family out here. I've found that free-dancing to Sleigh Bells elevates my mood sizeably, so I am going to go and do that now and forget about turkey and patriots.

Missin' You
xox

Yangshou Shwangshou

If you ever have the chance to pass through Yangshou, China, please do. I wouldn't recommend it during the October holiday because it is a hotspot for Chinese tourists as well us the rest of us pond scum from around the world, but I bid you go. The stone streets make for excellent stumbling blocks late at night, the busy street markets are cheap and exhilarating, and the dumplings can easily be eaten for every meal (and they almost were). Jess, Trish and I stayed at Monkey Jane's hostel, and the rooftop bar is as famous as promised. Every traveller paid a visit for the beer pong tournaments, the spectacular view of the valley, and the pretty Canadian girls giggling in the corner by the vat of Snake Juice. I have learned that English boys are only looking for tail, Irish boys are only looking for booze, Americans are only looking for Asians and other Americans, and the Chinese boys just want to practice their English speaking skills--life lessons for seasoned travellers.

Because Yangshou is situated in a valley between Jurassic Park-esque mountains, farmer's fields, and free flowing rivers, there is plenty to do during the day. The first day we meandered through the town and markets and mostly talked about where we wanted to eat-haha! The next day we took a bus to a cave that I'm sure housed a family of dragons! The cave had little pools to swim in, a hot spring area, and a mud bath spot-it was unreal! It was disappointing to see the Chinese smoking inside the cave-but-this country is making big strides in other areas so I can forgive it. I guess. The next day we rented vintage bicycles for $3 for bought rice farmer hats (the triangular kind) and cycled outside of the town and found a swimming spot. The Chinese thought we were loco because apparently it is 'cold season.' The next day we rented scooters and took to the hills! This day made me ecstatic for life. I stand by that statement. I thought I would be a pisser of a driver, but I was excellent (Trish told me she felt very comfortable riding on the back of my scooter). Scooting around the mountain rodes and over bridges and through villages is the best way to see rural China. I wish I could do it everyday. We found a bridge for bridge jumping, and a clear spot for swimming, Jess even taught me some water polo moves! Yangshou is a magical place, and really lights up at nightime too. The rooftop bar became a competitive place as we girls took on the boys in beer pong tournaments, and while Tyler showed off his alleged manhood by slaying a snake and eating it's still-beating heart. I dreamt about snakes that night, and sided with every vegan in the world. There is nothing so barbaric that I have seen like watching a snake have it's head cut off with scissors and drained of it's blood. Tyler, I hate you for that.

The days and nights swept by and before we could say "gombay" one more time, our Hong Kong itinerary was beckoning us.

Missin' you
xox

Happy October Holiday China!

This is the best week so far because on Thursday we attend the school Sports Meet (which essentially means taking the day off to watch chinese kids hurdle themselves through the air to cross some kind of important line and win awards). I love Sports Days.
This is also the best week because on Thursday night I fly with a few friends to Guilin and then on to Yangshou in southern China (below Shanghai). I have been looking forward to this place for a few weeks now; it sounds completely chill. Yangshou is similar to Guilin but less touristy. It is a small town surrounded by water and picturesque mountains, and boasts of excellent rock climbing, hiking, tubing, kayaking, fishing, and cycling. The bars are mostly run by aussies or french people (which means cute accents, wavey brown hair, and possibly some facial stubble). There is live music in every cafe and we are staying at Monkey Jane's Hostel, which is known for it's hoppin rooftop bar patio.
Basically, I will be suspended in heaven for 5-6 days with some really cool people and lots to do outdoors! The last leg of our trip includes taking an overnight sleeper train to Shenzuen, and then a ferry to Hong Kong for a couple of days to meet up with more friends!

So much excitement! So much! If you don't hear from me for awhile, don't worry, I will be back in high heels and black outfits on Sunday, October 10th (just in time to wish I was home for Thanksgiving :( )
Below are some pictures I found of Yangshou, to give you an idea of how happy i will be in about three days.

Missin' you,
xox

Bee Zway Kind of Day.

I woke up with a headache today, which is never a good start for a Monday because on Mondays I see my lower level grade 11's (11-11) THREE times in the day. By third period, they are ready to crucify me. Today is also the day when my grade 11's give their speeches on any random topic they have been researching for two weeks. ESL speeches... all I could think was, "this is going to be either very painful or very hilarious."

So my headache and I tossled our way toward the 11-11 classroom, ready for warfare. I had my students write down one question for each presenter so that they wouldn't fall asleep, and I am sitting here reviewing the questions, giggling, because so many of them just wrote, "what are you saying?" on the presenter's feedback page. It's not really funny in the grande scheme of things, I mean, they should understand english by now. On the other hand, it is secretly really funny that that was the question they chose to ask the presenter. Hah!

In the second period, I tried to teach my students how to identify the main idea in a paragraph. Helen asks, "What is a mammal?" "Uhhh....heh...animals and people...who...have...(muffled) sex....(giggles--they understand THAT word,of course)...and have babies without eggs." Helen just looked at me and flared her nostrils because she had a nose bleed in one and needed to readjust the wad of toilet paper in her one nostril. These people do wierd things in public. I admire it.

My favourite part of the class was when James left for the bathroom and someone mentioned that he was going to smoke in the toilet (they do that here, it is really gross). When James returned, I made somewhat of a spectacle of him by asking him to come closer so I could smell the smoke on him. He laughed and let me, and then smelled me back. Clever. I like these kids. They drive me INSANE! But for ESL students, I ask a lot of them, and at least they always try. Plus, when I yell at them to shut up (bee zway)in Chinese, they actually listen. I love my job.

xox

Stories from the Moon Cake Girl

Most people who work abroad and are stationed in Beijing prefer to leave the city and jet set to other more exciting Chinese places when a three day national holiday comes 'round. Those of us who teach along the 6th Ring Road (The middle of cussing nowhere) prefer to stay in a downtown hostel to celebrate National Moon Cake Day so that home is a stumbling distance away at the end of a glory filled night on the town. The Sunlutin Youth Hostel was the best hostel I have ever stayed in; it was incredibly clean, cozy, and well-trodden. It boasted a tasty menu, cheap long island iced tea and other luxurious drinks for adults. It also came with a handful of 'intelligently good looking' young male travellers who were incredibly friendly. I could live there every weekend! And I might...

The first night we went to Bar Street, which is the place we usually troll on Fridays; though it catered to a much younger crowd that night (maybe this had something to do with the Full Moon). Instead of playing "Where Are You From" as we sat and drank on the streetside bar patios, we played "You Look Like You're Twelve, Are You Twelve." I spoke with a few Justin Bieber types who fessed up to being fifteen. These kids were wild-like nobody owned them. It was strange to watch them on Bar Street, because they were mostly allowed in everywhere, but so often I'd catch glimpses of curiosity, fear, and trepidation when they realized they could walk in anywhere, and drink/smoke anything. They must have felt like child versions of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, or Drew Barrymore. "Hey! Dude, are you Drew Barrymore circa 1991? Yea, like post ET..." "Go cuss yourself!" "Kiss yo momma with that mouth?" Oh bar street got old fast.

I rode a very crowded subway up to Tianmen Square and the Forbidden City, and found a hostel to rent a sketchy bicycle from. Then I proceeded to do the most dangerous thing I could choose to do in Beijing; ride my bike according to Chinese bike laws.
** Chinese bike laws (unofficial version)
1. If you are not a car, you are fair game for road kill.
2. There are designated bike lanes; however, taxis, buses, scooters, wheelchairs, strollers, hovercrafts, and little old ladies can swerve in and out of these as often as they please-and if they hit you-they get one thousand million billion gold coins.
3. What's a helmet??
4. The green pedestrian sign is merely for show. When it comes on, you better peddle for your life to make it across because it only stays on for 3 seconds, and even still, pedestrians must yeild to traffic.

It was the best afternoon of my life! The thrill from being so close to death was almost as exciting as being born. I also found a cool park and while I was locking up my bike this little boy came over and peed on my back wheel. He didn't even notice me until he was almost done, and then when he did look up at me staring in shock at him, his eyes got really wide, and he just played with his wiener and stared me down for awhile. It was wierd.
**Kids here pee and poop everywhere. Toddlers have giant holes cut into the crotch to bum portion of their pants for easy access. Please brace yourself for this story-and if you are my parents, stop reading here and skip to the next paragraph: At dinner in an alleyway restauraunt one night, there was this kid who seriously owned the restaurant. Everyone catered to him, so we called him Godzilla. Anyway, he was probably 4 years old, and still playing with his semi truck or whatever he could get his hands on. I'm eating and I look over, and all I can see is this kid, facing me, bent down to the ground in a low squat, playing with his semi, and there is a massive hole in the crotch of his pants, and his junk is just hanging out, dragging along the dirty floor as he is vroom vrooming along. Godzilla is a king.

So Baihai Park was incredible; small buddhist temples, actual greenery, and lovers in paddle boats, just a paddlin'. It was neat to watch people praying in the temples too (though I was discusted when people actually took photos of the people praying. Like come on, you really can't just remember what this looks like??) Frustrating.
Oh, and then later a man in a shop startled me by grabbing me (because the merchants in Beijing are really aggressive and because I didn't want to buy the sandals afterall) and I kind of retaliated immediately and pushed him overly hard and got right up in his grill and snarled that he better not touch me again. He was mad. I was mad. And then I felt bad, but also proud. He grabbed my arm really hard. My friend Jess said initially she was scared because he grabbed me so suddenly, but then she was scared becasue she thought I was going to rage on this guy and knock him out. She dragged me out of there. It was awkward.


The next day I found more eclectic shops and restaurants that I know my Mum would devour if she were here, so I missed her greatly all day long. That night we found a neat hookah bar and met some friendly fellows from England and chit chatted the night away until it was the stumbling hour (praise buddha for Sunlutin Hostel). Beijing is getting colder too, so it was a brisk stumble, but somehow, Bri and I managed to find our way into the rock hard bunk beds.

I was excited to return to the campus today though. It's nerdy, but as soon as I arrived and saw a few of my students and chatted with them, I realized how much I missed them. It's like coming home to a very quirky, wide eyed family that giggles a lot. I wrote down all the things I didn't know how to say but needed to say in Chinese so tomorrow I can spend a portion of each class having my kids teach me the phrases. They love to watch me struggle with pronunciation. They also love Mr. Bean and Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. And wearing their backpacks on their chests, even while at their desks. It kills them when I make spelling errors while typing, and they don't understand the terms "choose, downtown, and what's up." Sometimes they eat weird wet snacks that smell like death and they eat them, trying to sneak it on me because you can't snack in the classrooms. What they don't realise is that I'm not used to their food smells yet, so I can smell the death snack immediately and Helen really hates it when I bust her for eating freezer dried tofu mized with squid, lotus, and sewer sludge. Ugh. "Helen, stop eating." "But I love eating!" "I know. But stop it." "...Okay....sawy teachugh." See why I love them? They don't have the english capacity to argue with me for very long about anything, so they usually relent quickly and skulk while muttering in Chinese.


I'm also helping my students form this Snowboarding Club, and we have 40 members so far and after the October break we will have our first trip to an indoor snowboard hill!! Apperently the outdoor ones are pretty far away and we won't be able to hit those until the winter and we'll make a weekend of it. Too bad I didn't pack any snowgear at all. Not even a winter coat. My poor visa is taking a beating.

Okay, I'm tired and I have to plan something productive to do while my kids have library periods tomorrow. I've grown weary of policing their lack of ambition to do the assigned tasks I give them in the library on the computers. So instead of punishing myself by cancelling library time, I have just decided that those who want to get the work done will, and those who don't won't. Rather than hold their 17 year old hands, I'll use the library time as another prep and get some work done myself or help those who are actually working. Those who wish to waste valuable time on RenRen (facebook) or QQ (msn) better have some quality assignments to hand in to me because that is when my wrath will surely reign down upon them. I refuse to have an ulcer before 30 because I spent my late twenties nagging students to use their computer time wisely and trying to argue with an ESL student about what they are supposed to be doing, and no, no, you DID know RenRen was on my list of things YOU SHOULD NOT BE DOING RIGHT NOW! YOU KNEW! YOU KNEW! CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TRANSLATE THIS FOR ME, HE'S NOT GETTING IT... Cuss. I need to learn chinese.
Boo= means No. Dway= means yes. Ting Bu Dong= means don't understand.

That's all I got folks. Sorry for the lack of photos of my first holiday in Beijing, I lost my camera :( But, that is a whole other story entitled, "Nothing Is Easy In China."

Missin' you,
xox

Moon Cake Day!

I am only working a two-day work week (so today is Jambing Friday!), because of a national holiday on Wednesday. I have been told by varying sources that it is in celebration of a delicious baked good, called a Mooncake! I don't know if this is true, but it is funny regardless. Imagine celebrating a type of cake? Today is the national Dairy Queen Icecream Cake Day! Flan day! Pound Cake Day!

Anyway, I have my backpackers pack all...packed (heh) to leave right after school. I'm booked into a hostel downtown, and will spend three days scouring every alleyway, nook, cranny, shop, and park. I'm pretty excited! I hope I get lost! I hope I eat something wild! I hope I meet someone famous or someone who is interesting! And terribly good looking! A girl can hope...

My major goals are to walk aimlessly around the Tenmple of Heaven and read "Wild Things" by David Eggers, bike-ride through the Forbidden City, sit down and probably text someone while in Tiananmen Square, pick up some warmer clothes at the market, buy some crazy converse kicks, drink Tsing Tao beer while people watching, and string some pearls for my wrist at the Pearl Market.

I'm a vagabond!

Missin' you
xox

Lazy Sunday

On Saturday I woke up and itched for an adventure. I caught the bus and subway into Beijing, and started to wander. I poked around and wandered off the beaten track, only to find that I could ask for directions in Chinese! As it turns out, you can learn some things through osmosis! I found this neat little outdoor shopping plaza called Soho, and discovered that it housed the most eclectic little stores, a three story Starbucks and a North American grocery store called Jenny Lou's!
My favourite parts of the day:

1. A shop called Lazy Sunday: home to adorable dresses, awesome converse sneakers, aged posters of the Beatles and Michael Jackson (yes, Chad, I got one for you!), hair accesories, bows, flowers, lace, eclectic earrings and necklaces, Paris-themed jewellery, mini postcards with lomography photos and stickers, rayban glasses and sunglasses, clocks, owls, woolen goods, leather jackets OH MY! I WAS ON SENSORY OVERLOAD!!!!! So I picked up a few knick knacks for friends and can't wait to mail presents home to my lovers.

2. On my Ipod through the day: Treelines, Bon Iver, Temper Trap, the Gaslight Anthem, Jaydiohead.

3. When I was lost and caught a cab and asked him to take me to JinWhie Soho Mah, and he understood!

4. It was rainy and beautiful and I smiled all day because I was happy.

Missin' you,

xox

Wine & Cheese Night!

We needed a classy night so we gussied up, sipped wine, and munched cheese. I love these people!