I like me.

I just love looking forward to a New Year. I tend to get excited about all holidays, but there is something even more anticipatory about a new year. The Chinese New Year isn't until February, so I took the liberty of make this week a 2011 themed week. I taught my kids about resolutions, and failed attempts at keeping them, I told stories about previous New Year's celebrations, and tried to elicit excitement for change from them. Mostly, they wanted to know if I play "truth or dare" on New Year's eve--uhh--do "goggles of truth count?" We watched Death Cab for Cutie's "The New Year" video and talked about the lyrics and what it feels like to have a disappointing year-which is usually an easy conversation to have with teens--they thrive on emo. However, Chinese teens are different. I had them journal about one thing they regret about this year and they had the HARDEST time thinking of something. After more discussion, it was apparent that these kids are taught from a young age to leave regrets behind and look ahead. The world they see is shiny, and full of hope. I wondered what it is like to hold an oyster like that.
I have been putting off making resolutions which is tough because I asked my kids to, and they wanted to know what mine are; but, I find it so uncomfortable to think about this year...what will I resolve in my life? 2010 was largely about learning to kick back and relax, learning to sweep things under the rug and leave those things there until they disintegrate or sneak out, and learning to ask less questions of people (especially if I am not sure I want the answer). I have learned to feel more satisfied with silence and un-resolve, I have learned to speak to strangers in predictable places, and I have learned how to yell at my students fluently in Chinese. My 11-11 gangstas helped me think of New Years resolutions and this is what they wrote for me:
1. Marry a Chinese man who love you beautiful adoring everyday. Love is most, he must love forever. We love you most forever.
2. Marry Zack. He love you and think you our funny (Zack is one of my students! Haha!)
3. Chinese lessons each day, so speak our chinese and fight most battle great! Beautiful fighter!
4. Drink Chinese tea it because so good for healthy.
5. Movie for us everyday!!
6. Have baby with Chinese husband. Beautiful baby! White skin and why freckly? Green eye so shiny and brown hair so crazy! We love!

Dang, they are so adorable!! We had such fun coming up with these! They make some good points...haha!
Anyway, I'm not sure I will make resolutions this year, because I'm happy and I don't feel unresolved.

Well, I have to jetsky into the city to get ready for New Year's Eve!
Happy New Year, my loves. I hope you are happy.

xox

P.S. Playlist:
The Radio Dept; Heaven's on Fire, Video Dept.
Shakira, Waka Waka!

Rejoice, rejoice, rejoice.

It is Christmas Eve Eve today and so far, so much "Home Alone" has been watched in my classes. By the end of the day, I will have watched "Home Alone" three times; roughly 5 hours of Macauley Caulkin. This nearly makes up for being away from home this Christmas! Mulled wine will make up for the rest later on tonight.

Earlier this week I had a pretty bad fever for a couple days. Since we literally can't take sick days to recover in bed, I took my sweaty, flustered self to class and complained about my illness. Chinese people are incredibly particular about their health and the causes of illness. One student told me I was sick because I am not drinking enough freezing water to regulate my body temp. Allegedly, when the seasons change, so much our ingestion of fluids-but not the way you'd think (cold weather = hot drinks). In fact, when it is freezing outside, you should use air conditioning and drink freezing water. Your inner body temp should match your outer body temp, according to ancient Chinese wisdom. The Chinese staff in our office are so bothered because we have heaters blasting all day to keep warm. It's funny. Anyway, my students are trying to help me because I have no medicine to bring down my fever and I'm all hot and cold sweats. One of them offered to write down my symptoms so I could take it to the pharmacist across the street and get something to feel better. Off I go to the pharmacist--and let me tell ya--he is no Chris Kolody--he was very annoyed by my lack of Chinese speaking skills. While he grabbed medicine for me, I perused the display cases, and what do I find? Sex toys. Yep. Anyway-he gives me medicine and writes numbers on the cases (all in Chinese of course). A Chinese teacher tells me how often to take the medicine so I start knocking it back like candy. I've heard Chinese meds are like heroin. I'm feeling better the next day and managed to sleep that night without sweating through my sheets, so I go to class all happy and rouged. I show my student the medicine I took and one box he approves. The next box causes him great distress. "Oh....Oh nooooooo..noo.nooo.nooo.nooo....." And then he starts to laugh and says something to class in Chinese, and they all laugh. Once gathers his wits, he takes out his pocket translator and types something in, then shows me, "gonad infection." "But I'm a girl!"
Luckily, my gonads are feeling great this week, so no complaints there.

Today I received a funny message in my inbox from one of my two high school friends that I still loosly keep in touch with and this is what he wrote:
So I hear that Beijing is totally over-rated and Calgary could use a little more Michelle in its life.

I don't want to mix words, so I`ll just put this out there... Bootle and I ran into each other on the weekend and we talked about you, and both decided that you are the person we are most likely to travel to Cuba with when we turn 40. So hold on to you butt, because it's gonna happen.

I hope you are having a blast in the far east, and you are staying out of any REAL trouble. If you need a white guy to come save you from pirates just let me know, I'll trade as many locks of hair as it takes to get you home safely.

Seriously though, have a great Christmas and please let me know the next time we can see eye to eye (if you catch my drift).

Warm Wishes (because it's cold here)
Warren


It just warmed my christmas-heart a little. I was thinking that it is so special to be remembered. In fact, to be remembered is like, the biggest compliment, and it really brightened my day. I find I am always surrounded by affectionate, compelling people everywhere I go, and I am the luckiest girl in the Orient!
Thanks for your love, affections, cards, letters, FB messages, and texts. I always feel undeserving of it. If you are reading this, know that you mean the world to me and the only reason I get bummed out here in Beijingaling is because I miss you--not because I am ungrateful of the opportunity.

I love you. I always will.
Plain and simple.
xox

P.S. Playlist: A lovely Christmas compilation someone very special gave me years ago, "NoelNoel." It is on repeat.

Gangstas and Christmakuh!

The madness of teaching for 15 straight weeks without long weekends/holidays is finally beginning to ensue. We are all losing it. My classroom has gone from whimsical controlled chaos to absolute mutiny. I need to show a movie or something...
Yesterday, with my gangstas in 11-11, we were reading an article on body language that I had JUST photocopied for them. It was last period and my kids were tuckered out. JW decided to take a nap with the side of his face down on the article. Suddenly I hear giggles and he says, "Ooooh my gaaaaawd!" He was holding a mini mirror up looking at a perfect ink impression from one of the pictures in the article stamped on his face. It was a picture of a morose looking man just sitting, looking glum. I lost it. It was absolutely perfect, there was not a line out of place. The man fit perfectly on JW's cheek. I laughed so hard I wheezed and cried a little. "JW-that'll teach you to sleep in my class." My gangstas are the best. They have also nailed an appropriate "late entrance" down (it's only December so I am quite pleased with their efforts); now, instead of sauntering into class late, they stop at the door and say, "Teacher, may I please come in?" I love giggling and saying no. It kills me.

Later, when marking a vocabulary quiz, I came across one that was a teacher's worst nightmare. It was a "match the word with the definition" type quiz (which already is difficult to mark, but I have learned it is the one way I can keep them from cheating!). Anyway, the smartest kid in my AP3 class left me a lovely little note after turning his "match the word" into disarray, "I'm sorry, I have noted that I should have used pencil." Heehee. They are so polite when they want to be.

Yesterday, Trish and I decorated the English Department Christmas tree with our Girls Club. It was cute-they attempted to merely toss decorations on the tree like other Chinese staff had done to other trees around campus, but we taught them how to stand back and reflect on "empty spaces" before proceeding. I think they only came for the cookies, but I didn't say so.

Countdown to Beijing Christmas: 11 days.
Christmas Movies Watched So Far: Home Alone 1, Polar Express
Cups of Eggnog Drank: 0 (sadly)
Mulled Wine Drank: 2 cups
Christmas Trees Decorated: 1
Christmas Music Downloaded: 2 albums
Christmas Tears Shed: Maybe1-2 nostalgic times
References to my Jewish Heritage: Numerous (and confusing to my students-they really don't get it when I say I'm a Jew and I'd rather be playing 'Dradle Dradle Dradle' than reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas.'
Christmas Mail Received: Thank you to Cyndi Chomick and Megan Mottle for their thoughtful letters and blank Birthday cards. I got rather wet eyed yesterday when opening up my mail at the office!!! I can't wait for more letters to come-opening mail is THE BEST!

That is all for today, kids.
Love you!
xox

P.S. Playlist: Nicki Minaj is AMPING me these days (check out 'Moment 4 Life, Blazin, I Am the Best)

Jupiter Winter

Last night I officially welcomed the Christmas season. No, it did not snow, my hopes are still riding high for that one. Bri, Maggie, Simon, Jamie, and I went ice skating at an indoor plaza and then out to my favourite haunt, The Bookworm, for mulled wine and carolling. Simon and Jamie are from the UK, and hear this: they have NEVER skated in their lives! They don't have outdoor or indoor rinks where they live, so last night was their first stab at skating. I am so proud, because they were literally terrified, and by the end of it, they were moving easily around. I have decided that once a week I will catch the bus into Beijing and go ice skating. Chad would be SO PROUD of how smoothly I am skating backwards now. Maggie used to figure skate, so I am hoping she will continue to teach me sweet moves. I actually got lost for awhile there on the ice and forgot that I am so far from home-but then a couple 6 year old asians came barrelling at me with hockey gear on and my out of body experience was jolted. Those kids can really fly when they crash!
Next we went to the Bookworm, which is now my new favourite place on earth. All the walls are completely filled with books and there is a library portion and a store portion. The books for sale are crap, but I have been meaning to try David Sedaris for awhile so I think I'll sink my teeth into him each Sunday afternoon. This place is incredibly cozy, serves wine and delicious food, and reveals a great view of the city. I could be happy on Sundays again, just sitting and sipping and reading or marking, with my feet up and my mind somewhere else entirely...The carolling was very cute! The place was packed and hot and it smelled like cinnamon and candy. The mixture of white and asian people were all snuggled together, while the pianist led everyone in a swirl of Christmas tunes. My favourite was the Irish Christmas song, when people became rowdy; it felt like a celebration after a war or something. I had one of those, "this is my home and these are my people," moments (always bittersweet).

This morning I have my feet up, I'm watching Home Alone, and downloading Christmas music. I feel melancholic, but okay.

Missin you,
Shalom,

xox

Okay: First Things First I'll Eat Your Brain

We Keep Runnin' For The Thrill Of It

Friends and Lovers,

I know it has been a long time since I updated this. Sometimes a girl needs a lil’ privacy-but enough of that. Kanye is back to spewing his life all over the internet, so I might as well follow suit.

I have been up in arms keeping my students busy these past weeks-fighting the good fight for intelligence. I started a business creation unit with them, because let’s face it, these kids know consumption best, and the work they are doing is incredible. I keep my fingers crossed everyday that they will stay focused, and so far so good. Even my most notorious slackers are on board; once we got past the “No, you can’t sell weapons, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, or little girl’s underwear” portion of the project-they flew! Here are a few of my favourite businesses: “Lucky Fox Clothing” (selling fox fur clothes), “Uncle Sushi” (Helen’s), “Clown” (selling toothbrushes), “Will-‘O’-the-Wisp” (selling ships!), “Notable Common Work” (selling videos of famous people doing…yep-common work around the house or office). Initially, these were the projects that I thought students were creating just to mess with me-but no-they are actually entranced by their business planning. On a side-note we are also studying TOM’s Shoes as a business model, and we’ve had some cool conversations about the impact of businesses like TOMS in the world—I love hearing what they have to say about what they are reading—they are so impressed by TOMS.
Then again, there are also the days when they drive me insane and I just shake my head and moan, “Oh geez China,” which they think is the funniest thing ever. For example, while teaching this week, a blast of off key instruments and fire crackers overtook my lesson from outside the school windows. I could hardly hear myself. The kids barely reacted to it, but I looked out the window, and oh-yep, a processional for a dead person was just meandering through the streets. This went on for fifteen minutes, while I struggled to figure out how to teach over the noise (never did figure it out…). Ridiculous. Then we had a conversation about how crazy it is that firecrackers are constantly going off in the streets at all hours of the day and night for some celebration or another, one student explained it as, “Well teacher, we are just happy people, we just celebrate with noises whenever our hearts are happy.” Sounds like a decent life mentality to me, might even chalk that down as a Lifestyle Goldmine, but really, who the H is happy at 5:30am every Thursday??? Not me! China! I need sleep! Especially because my brain is shrinking each time I mark a writing assignment. No really-I’m completely serious. Last week, there was so much Chinglish in their writing that I couldn’t even identify a full sentence anymore! I told this to my desk-mate, Jess, and her response was “trust me, nothing they write is a full sentence.” I was so dizzy after marking that I nearly threw up. Some assignments my kids just give ‘er and they do an awesome job and really work hard to do everything perfectly; other days, I swear they just spit on the paper and hand it in, “Uuh…thanks Dragon…”

I’ve also been a part of a political battle between the Chinese administration and the Canadian administration at the school. This whole business unit involves kids actually speaking in class, moving desks around into groups of two, and using their laptops to type assignments and design their logos (typical classroom stuff-right?) NO! Not right! Not in CHINA! In Chinese classrooms, kids sit at the same desk all day, they have twenty books piled high on their desk, they write in little notebooks with fine tipped pens, and they stand when they respond to your question. The Canadian classes look wildly different-like-they actually look like chaos by comparison. Therefore, the Chinese admin freaks out and is constantly complaining to our Canadian principal (a complete darling), about EVERYTHING we do. It’s an annoyance, but they can’t do anything to us because they don’t have any power over us-it’s just crappy because the wall grows higher and higher between us. Anyway, the business unit is blowing their minds because there are 9 grade 11 classes doing this and because we can’t all fit in the library to use their 1940’s computers, we all requested that students bring their laptops to class. We get so much more work done this way and I’m not constantly screeching, ‘No Ren-Ren, No QQ! ‘ (because there is no internet connection in the classes). The Chinese admin put out a request that laptops never be used in class because they are a ‘distraction.’ When I heard, I lost it. You can imagine. “Is this a joke???? What kind of 21st Century school doesn’t allow technology in the classroom? My students are NOT distracted, they are more focused than I have ever seen them-they actually do work in class and hand stuff in! They do revisions of their writing for the first time ever! They are learning how to TYPE in ENGLISH—because they have never been taught this before-and I am marking work with commas and periods all over the place! It’s a nightmare, but so good for them to be learning this! This school is in a time warp! If I can’t use laptops, I’m going to quit! I refuse to teach in a school that shuts down laptops in classrooms for senseless reasons. This is ludicrous!”
So yeah- I threw it out there. Was it a professional response-Uh-nope. Am I an overly zealous first year teacher with student advocacy dripping from my lips? Uh-yeah, clearly. It was okay though, my principal took me to her house and cooked me a grilled cheese sandwich and we talked politics. It was cute-like Sesame Street meets Bill Gates. There are new surprises on campus every day. I will do better at reporting them to you as they happen-ripe blogs are the best.

A Nightmare Before Christmas has also hit campus this week-I will try and post photos; though, photos do not do this place justice. I love that the school celebrates Christmas with the Canadian department, it is very considerate. Especially when you consider how far from home we all are and how comforting it is to see Christmas lights and decorated trees. HOWEVER—these decorations are outlandish and hilarious! I literally saw maintenance men dragging in browning Christmas trees the other day, and I stood and watched while they hucked Christmas tinsel and weird items onto the tree (only on one side of the tree too-I guess the backside doesn’t need to be adorned…). I don’t think they even lifted their heads from inside the decorations box, they just chose an item, reached behind them and threw it onto the tree. One of the trees was being blown over in the wind the other day as I was walking into the building with my kids and one student grabbed it and I told him he saved Christmas and he was a Christmas hero; his response was, “not really, teacher-that tree is so ugly!” Haha! The best part of Christmas on campus is the manger scene! Oh man….I have to take a photo of that. Poor Santa Clause is all tuckered out, so he is standing outside the manger (with nothing inside of it-no baby Jesus-not even a baby Mao!!), knocking on the wood, obviously trying to get in. Poor Rudolf is just chllin’ outside in the snow-looking haggard. The whole thing looks so weird-it kills me (by the way, my expression, “you’re killing me” coined from the Sandlot long ago-is making waves with my students-they lose it every time I tell a student he/she is killing me. They also love, “uh huh.” Heehee! “Zark! Take those earphones out of your ears-this is not music class-and you will not learn English with those things in your head right now-you’re killing me!” “Uh huh, teacher, uh huh!”).
Downtown Beijing brings Christmas spirit the old fashioned way-feels like home. Starbucks is spewing Christmas out the door as usual, and the stores play Christmas carols. People are always shopping as if in frenzy here, but it feels more Christmas-y somehow. For Christmas weekend, we get Christmas Eve off, so Bre, Maggie and I have booked into a fancy hotel (courtesy of our parents’ for Christmas-thanks Mum and Terry!), and we will dine, dance, and feel divine! Our itinerary includes sleeping in each day, going to the spa, buying a random gift for each other at Yashow market and exchanging on Christmas morning, eating Sunday brunch, having Christmas dinner at a nice restaurant, seeing Swan Lake, ice skating at a plaza, and hitting Candy Village (it’s a small village made entirely by candy-this is a childhood dream of mine-and it exists in Beijing!) I think it will be a great weekend and we are determined to not comment on how much we miss being home. It’s my first Christmas away from home and I am going to make it something memorable!
I do, however, hope for snowfall everyday. You know when you look at a dark grey sky at home, and the air has a bite to it, and everything is quiet; you think, it’s going to snow. Well, Beijing has those same effects, but, the grey sky is pollution, and that burning inside your chest and your black boogers are signs that you are dying faster here than you would in Canada. Really. So, though I may sound crazy to all the Canucks living in 10 ft of snow right now at -40, I still hope for snowfall everyday.
What else can I tell you…oh yes! We’ve booked our one-month holiday to Thailand! I am really excited to go back there! I will say that I am disappointed that my Nepal and Indonesia plans fell through, but I guess this means that I’ll have to come back to the Orient again one day…can’t get enough. I am going with Bre and her friend Jenks, and Maggie. We are planning to stay in Ko Tao, Ko Phan’ang (where The Beach was filmed), and Ko Phi Phi-but that could all change on a dime. We’ve made some British friends out here and they will be joining for a week as well, so we have quite the crew hitting Thailand. I just want to get out on a scooter and zip around the island, climb to the top of a waterfall, and see a cool spider. I don’t ask for much…okay-maybe a massage and a pedicure too. Okay, enough!
I think that is all I have to report, friends. I’m happier than ever out here-I have finally settled down and I’m embracing Beijing life with arms open, I’m taking risks and swooning. I’m more accepting of circumstances and grey areas…I just feel free. For the first time, I go into situations and conversations and remind myself to ‘roll with the punches,’ and I do. I drop expectations and I never feel obligated to do more than wake up and get out of bed. I feel different than before, and I wish this Michelle had been around years ago.
I’ll write again (sooner this time), and I hope everyone is safe and peaceful as they plow through Christmas season back home.

Don’t kid yourself, I miss you guys and girls terribly.
Shalom,
xox

PS PLAYLIST (on repeat):
*Walking On A Dream-Empire of the Sun
*When We Were Young- The Killers
*Power, Monster, All of the Lights- Kanyeezy and others
*Get Some-Lykke Li
*A Thread Cut With A Carving Knife-Stars
*Tell 'Em, Kids-Sleigh Bells
*Where's Your Dirty Mind- Avi Buffalo
*Sunday-Bloc Party
*Radioactive-Kings of Leon