The moral of this story is to always have a plethora of reasons to back up why you removed marks from a student's assignment. Why? Because kids are smart-mouthed and angsty. I love this about them; of course they should question their grades! But try to have those reasons up your blouse because they will maim you about it until their short attention span directs them elsewhere.

I gave Harry's group 22/25 on their Reader's Theatre performance. That was a good grade, it was an entertaining performance that might have won a Teen Choice Award had it been staged somewhere other than Fredericton, New Brunswick.
Harry argued every grade. Every Single Grade.
"Uh, Miss Crimmins. I couldn't help but notice you took off three marks and commented that Daniel's hot dog costume was confusing."
"Yes, I did write that."
"So what I would like to know is if we lost three marks for his costume, because it became clear that he was dressed like a hot dog at the end, so it's not really fair that we lost three marks if there was clarity at the end, even if it was confusing throughout."
(Harry's parents are university professors, which is why he speaks remarkably well for a twelve year old).
"Well Harry, it was a group project and the grade is a group grade, so you need to keep in mind that the grade does not reflect only your performance, it is a cumulative grade for everyone."
"I understand that, but everyone liked his hot dog costume except for you."
"That's not true, I loved his costume, I laughed! Who doesn't like hot dogs?"
"So why did we lose three marks?"
"You lost one mark from three different sections of the rubric, only one of the marks lost was because of Daniel's hot dog costume."
"Yeah, but why?"
"Because his costume covered his face and because this is a Reader's Theatre assignment, we actually need to hear what each person is reading from the script, and Daniel was muffled, so we didn't understand a single thing he said."
"Yeah, but why the three whole marks?"
"Harry, only one mark was for Daniel's lack of projection, the other two marks were for two totally different things; one was taken off for the whole group not making eye contact with the audience,"
"I did!"
"I know."
"So put that mark back on!"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because it is a group grade, the grade isn't just for you-"
"But I deserve the grade!"
"Yes, you do, but you weren't entirely perfect either, Harry."
Pause.
"Did you just roll your eyes at me?"
He shrugs.
"I hate that."
"Sorry..."
"Harry, you won't earn grades by rolling your eyes."
"Well apparently you can't earn them by dressing up like a huge hot dog, either."
"No. Not always."
Awkward pause. I never know how to end these conversations.
"Well okay then, thanks for stopping by."
He backs away.

Sometimes I feel like rubrics are a big scam. I'd rather give head pats. Handshakes. Smelly stickers.

7F was quiet this afternoon. We had a rigorous morning of rehearsing for their Reader's Theatre productions, and a boisterous "Mock-Christmas-Dinner" lunch where we ate turkey and potatoes drizzled in gravy around a small fake Christmas tree. But this afternoon, they were mine, and they were all tuckered out. I gave them a silent reading period and half drew the curtains to keep the room dim. I reminded myself to do a random hand-check every once in awhile. I began to hang white Christmas lights around the blackboard to really get into "the spirit" of the season. Once hung, I dimmed the lights and the kids oohed and aahed as I'd hoped they would; and then one boy started giggling in the most heinous way. This of course, caught like wild fire, and the class was ablaze with giggles and hoots. I started to laugh too, though, I still had no idea why. And then between gasps for breath, he said it, "You're tryin' a make us all romaaaantic cuz' it's Christmas, Miss. Crimmins," and he erupted into laughter again.
"Miss. Crimmins, do you have a boyfriend?"
"No! She doesn't! She's not wearing a ring, idiot!"
"But do you? You do I bet!"
"I'm not even hanging mistletoe! Get your minds out of the gutter! I'm still saving myself for Edward Cullen!"
And the girls shrieked while the boys moaned and hid their faces.

Merry Christmas 7F, I will miss you terribly.
xox

The truth about Friday-night-marking.

Yes. We do read your papers and laugh at the mistakes sometimes. But we still love you, even though we can tell you wrote it at the breakfast table the morning it was due. You didn't even attach a slice of bacon for me...

Pop Quiz #1

How do you respond when you ask the class a question and when no one raises their hand you pick the kid who has half his fist shoved up his left nostril, and when a third of the class turns to look at said monster, you realize he a) still has not answered and b) is not, after all, listening to you and does not realize his peers are staring at him as he eats his body parts?

This is not a trick question.

It's casual Friday!

I even wear old socks and yesterday's undies on casual Friday just to really squeeze the most out of it.

Ten Musings on Middle School Dances.

10. The girls still ask the boys to slow dance. The boys still look at the ground while mumbling some kind of acceptance and proceed to pretend no one can see them until it's over, while the girls literally glow and make eye contact with everyone in the room.
9. Kids today dance the "Macarena" to "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It."
8. The fat kids still sit against the wall in the dark and are often mistaken for teachers by other teachers.
7. If your students ask you to dance to "I Like to Move it, Move it," the ONLY acceptable form of dancing is bopping up and down-- any hip thrusting or hand waving will earn you an early retirement.
6. Rather than gawky DC skater shoes, girls now wear Ugg boots with the classic denim mini skirt--it still looks as bad as my mother warned me.
5. Grade 6 boys will always run mock-nine around the gym until the Vice Principal takes away their Coca-Cola.
4. Two girls will sit against a wall for the last hour of the dance; one will be crying all of her mascara off, and the other will rub her back. Many friends will approach to get the story, but will be sent away, until finally, the perpetrating girl approaches and apologizes for dancing with the sobbing girl's crush; "I didn't know!" "I've loved him FOREVER!" sniff sniff "I'm sorry!" sob "Me too!" hiccup sigh "Let's just dance!"
3. The tall skinny guys in skinny jeans and shoes eighteen sizes too big still attempt the worm in front of the hot intern teacher.
2. Some kids who otherwise just blend with the school walls, actually do laps around the gym all night and keep count on their fingers. These people turn into the senior citizens who walk the mall each morning for exercise.
1. You CAN tell which kids spend all of their allowance in the arcade on Dance Dance Revolution. These kids are Gods on the dance floor all night.