I really don't want to make a habit of posting student work in jest-because I love these little critters. Though, sometimes it simply must be done so that the world may know how agonizing and hilarious my evenings filled with marking are.
This assignment was for my 11-11's; I gave them a beginning of a story and they had to write a climax and ending. Here is something one of my better 11-11's submitted:
--On the bus he meet a beautiful girl. He very happy and exciting. He wants to know the girl's phone number. And then he say: "Hello girl I want to make friend with you. Can you give me your phone number?"
"If you don't want to die please shut up!!"
"Why??"
"I'm a killer and SHUT UP!!!!!!!" The girl is a spy. She want to kill a leader and the leader is on the bus. She will go to a room and kill he. But he know that. He want to help that man leader guy. And then the guy tell the leader man. When that man know, he change him spot. The he go to house.
The beautiful killer is Machille angry. (WTF??? Maybe--Michelle) She tell that guy, "If you want to be dying with him, you can try." She shoting very loudly. And a woman listen it and she scream muchly. Finally, the spy go down and take the subway for dinner time. --
Well, I'm not even sure HOW to grade this (keeping in mind this is one of my better examples). I'm going to close my eyes and write 3/3 for IDEAS, 1/3 for SENTENCE FLUENCY, 2/3 ORGANIZATION and...forget about the rest of the 6 traits because IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!! I like the ending the best. A for Effort?
This is survival of the fittest.
xox
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